I Choose

I choose. These words have so much meaning and power. I am not subject to the whims of other people. I can decide what I do or don't do. I can quit my job if I want to. I can decide to be a street artist if I want to. I can move to New York. I can learn how to swim. I can write when I want to. I don't have to be solely a reactor. I don't have to wait for something to happen in order to come alive. I am alive. Everything within me is whole because of Jesus. I am not paralyzed. I am not controlled by my emotions. I am not only my emotions. I can choose to accept the joy and love that is already within me because of the Holy Spirit. I can choose to fight for what is right, not only if and when it makes me feel better. I can choose to love. I can choose to be sober for the rest of my life. It is my choice. I am choosing sobriety. I am choosing to not become involved in a relationship for at least another year. I am choosing to not let anything have a hold over me. The truth is that I am weak, and Jesus is the only one who can make these things completely true. I am choosing to rely on the Holy Spirit when I feel like I don't already have God's power within me. I am choosing to see myself as an heir with Christ. I am choosing to type right now. My fingers are making the motions with my brain interpreting which keys to hit. I am choosing to be honest with myself and with other people from now on. This does not mean that I need to confess to people. This does not mean that I need to admit all of my faults and tell people what I've done wrong. I can choose to carry myself like I'm a princess. I can choose to enter into pain with people, because I know that I can emerge out of it with a new lesson. I can choose to see beauty in pain. I miss my lip ring. I am choosing to trust that God is working out the Rwanda details. I am choosing to do breaststrokes through life rather than just floating by, going wherever it will take me. I choose my path. I choose my life. God created me. I am not perfect. I don't have to be perfect. I can choose.