Polka Dots

I miss Dan, but I'm still alive. I have gone a week without talking to him. It was going nowhere, and I told him that I didn't want to have contact with him anymore. I keep dreaming about him! I think the enemy is trying to get me with that. Working 4 jobs is taking a toll on me. I never know whether or not to call CHC a job because it's volunteer. I want to be a singer and actress. It's what I've wanted for a while, but I'm afraid and it's risky and I'm not secure in myself enough to feel comfortable having no external resources. Also, I have so many student loans to pay off. I want to entertain people! I am relatively good at that - at least at singing. I don't know if I have a stage presence, but I feel much more alive when I'm singing. It wakes me up and motivates me to live. Oh I hope I don't dream about Dan again. I'm so tired I can barely keep my eyes open.